Separation can be emotionally difficult, particularly when children are involved. Parents often have urgent questions about where their children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent, and who will make important decisions about education and healthcare. Understanding how parenting arrangements after separation work under Australian family law can help families make informed decisions while keeping their children’s wellbeing at the centre of the process.
Is “Child Custody” Still the Correct Term?
Although “child custody” is commonly used in everyday conversation, Australian family law generally refers to parenting arrangements, parental responsibility, and the time a child spends with each parent. The focus is not on one parent winning custody over the other. Instead, the law concentrates on the child’s needs and each parent’s responsibilities.
Parenting arrangements may determine:
- Where the child will live
- How much time the child will spend with each parent
- How the child will communicate with a parent when they are apart
- Who will make major long-term decisions
- Arrangements for weekends, holidays and special occasions
- Changeovers and transportation
- Contact with grandparents and other significant people
The Child’s Best Interests Come First
When the court makes a parenting order, the child’s best interests are its paramount consideration. The decision is not based on what either parent considers fair or on an automatic entitlement to a particular amount of time.
The court considers several matters, including:
- The safety of the child and each person caring for the child
- Any views expressed by the child
- The child’s developmental, psychological, emotional and cultural needs
- Each caregiver’s ability to meet those needs
- The benefit of maintaining relationships with parents and other significant people when it is safe
- Any other circumstances relevant to the individual child
A history of family violence, abuse, neglect or applicable family violence orders must also be considered. The current best-interests framework is explained by the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.
Equal Time Is Not an Automatic Right
A common misconception is that children must spend exactly half their time with each parent after separation. Australian law has never guaranteed parents equal time, and the previous presumption of equal shared parental responsibility was removed from the legislation in May 2024.
Equal time may work well for some families, but it may be unsuitable for others. The practical arrangement will depend on factors such as the child’s age, routine and needs; the distance between the parents’ homes; school commitments; each parent’s availability; and the parents’ ability to communicate safely.
The objective is not mathematical equality. It is to establish a safe, practical and child-focused arrangement. Further information about the changes is available from the Australian Attorney-General’s Department.
Parental Responsibility and Parenting Time Are Different
Parental responsibility concerns decisions about a child’s care, welfare and development. Major long-term issues can include education, health, religion, cultural upbringing and significant changes to living arrangements.
Parenting time, however, refers to where the child lives and when the child spends time or communicates with another person. An arrangement about decision-making does not automatically mean that the child must spend equal time with both parents.
The court may order joint decision-making for some or all major long-term issues, or give one parent sole responsibility for particular decisions. The outcome depends on the child’s circumstances and best interests.
Reaching an Informal Parenting Agreement
Some separated parents can agree on arrangements without going to court. An informal agreement may be flexible and workable when communication is respectful and both parents reliably follow what has been agreed.
However, informal arrangements can create uncertainty if there is a disagreement. Important details should be discussed clearly, including school days, weekends, holidays, birthdays, travel, changeover locations, medical appointments and communication with the child.
Even when parents are cooperative, obtaining legal advice can help them identify issues they may not yet have considered.
Recording the Agreement in a Parenting Plan
A parenting plan is a written agreement setting out arrangements for the care of a child. It must be dated and signed by the parents or other people involved.
A parenting plan can address:
- Where the child lives
- Time spent with each parent
- Telephone and video communication
- School and childcare arrangements
- Medical and healthcare decisions
- Travel and holidays
- Cultural and religious matters
- Methods for resolving future disagreements
Parenting plans are flexible and can be updated as a child’s needs change. However, they are not legally enforceable like court orders. A court may still consider the terms of a parenting plan if a dispute later arises. Victoria Legal Aid explains the distinction between parenting plans and consent orders.
Making an Agreement Legally Enforceable
Parents who reach an agreement may apply to the court for consent orders. If approved, consent orders have the same legal force as parenting orders made after a hearing.
Consent orders can provide greater certainty where parents want an enforceable arrangement. They may be particularly useful when the agreement deals with detailed schedules, overseas travel, decision-making responsibilities or concerns that one party may not follow an informal plan.
A court will only make parenting consent orders if it considers the proposed arrangements to be in the child’s best interests. Parents should obtain legal advice before submitting an application because poorly drafted orders can cause confusion or become difficult to follow.
What Happens When Parents Cannot Agree?
If parents cannot agree, Family Dispute Resolution may help them negotiate with the assistance of an independent and accredited practitioner. The process encourages parents to focus on practical solutions and their children’s needs.
In most cases, a person must attempt Family Dispute Resolution before applying to the court for parenting orders. If the dispute is not resolved, the practitioner may issue a section 60I certificate, which is generally required when filing the court application.
Exceptions can apply where:
- Family violence or child abuse is involved
- The matter is urgent
- A person cannot participate effectively
- An existing order has recently been seriously breached
- Another recognised exemption applies
Family Dispute Resolution isn’t always appropriate, especially when safety concerns or significant power imbalances exist. The Australian Government’s Family Relationships Online provides more information.
When Parenting Orders May Be Necessary
If negotiations and dispute resolution do not result in an agreement, or if mediation is inappropriate, a parent, grandparent, or other person concerned with the child’s care, welfare, or development may apply for parenting orders.
Parenting orders can cover:
- The person with whom the child will live
- Time and communication with parents or other people
- Responsibility for major long-term decisions
- Changeover arrangements
- Travel restrictions
- Schooling and medical treatment
- Steps for resolving future disputes
The court may also make interim orders when temporary arrangements are required before a final decision. Urgent orders may be necessary if there is a risk that a child will be removed, relocated or exposed to harm.
Relocating With a Child After Separation
Moving to another suburb may not cause difficulty, but relocating interstate, overseas or a substantial distance away can significantly affect the child’s relationship with the other parent.
A parent should not assume that being the child’s primary carer gives them an unrestricted right to relocate. If the proposed move would substantially affect existing arrangements, the parent should seek the other parent’s agreement or apply for court orders before relocating.
The court will consider the reasons for the proposed move, the effect on the child, safety concerns, practical travel arrangements and the child’s ability to maintain important relationships. Moving without agreement or approval can result in an order requiring the child to return. Victoria Legal Aid recommends obtaining legal advice before making relocation or overseas travel arrangements.
How Family Violence Affects Parenting Cases
A child’s safety is a central consideration in every parenting matter. Family violence can include physical violence, threats, coercive control, financial abuse, stalking, intimidation and behaviour that causes a person to fear for their safety.
Where risks are identified, arrangements may include supervised time, protected changeovers, limits on communication or restrictions on contact. In serious cases, the court may order that a parent spend no time with the child.
Anyone facing an immediate threat should contact emergency services. Legal advice should be obtained promptly where parenting arrangements overlap with intervention orders, allegations of abuse or concerns that a child may be removed.
Do Children Decide Where They Will Live?
Children do not automatically make the final decision, regardless of their age. However, the court can consider a child’s views and give them weight based on factors such as maturity, understanding and individual circumstances.
A child’s views may be communicated through a family report, a court child expert or an Independent Children’s Lawyer. Courts generally try to avoid placing children in a position where they feel responsible for choosing between their parents.
Can Existing Parenting Orders Be Changed?
Parenting arrangements may need to evolve as children grow or family circumstances change. Parents can sometimes agree to update their arrangements, but existing court orders should not simply be ignored.
When one parent asks the court to reconsider final parenting orders, the court generally examines whether there has been a significant change in circumstances and whether reconsidering the matter is in the child’s best interests. Legal advice is important before departing from an order or attempting to change it.
Common Mistakes to Avoid After Separation
Early decisions can have a lasting effect on a parenting case. Parents should avoid:
- Using children to carry messages between adults
- Speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the child
- Withholding time simply because child support has not been paid
- Moving a child without obtaining agreement or legal advice
- Ignoring an existing parenting order
- Sending hostile or threatening written communications
- Exposing children to adult disputes
- Signing an agreement without understanding its consequences
- Assuming equal time is guaranteed
- Waiting too long to obtain advice when safety is at risk
Keeping communication calm, factual and child-focused can reduce conflict and provide a clearer written record if legal proceedings later become necessary.
Preparing for an Appointment With a Family Lawyer
Before meeting a family lawyer, prepare a brief timeline of the relationship, separation and current parenting arrangements. Bring relevant documents, including existing orders, parenting plans, intervention orders, court documents and significant written communications.
It may also help to identify:
- The current weekly care schedule
- The child’s schooling and medical needs
- Any immediate safety concerns
- The issues already agreed upon
- The matters still in dispute
- The outcome you believe would best support the child
Clear information allows your lawyer to identify the urgent issues and advise you more efficiently.
Finding a Child-Focused Way Forward
Parenting arrangements after separation are not about rewarding one parent or punishing the other. Their purpose is to create a practical and safe structure that supports the child’s wellbeing and development.
Some families can achieve this through direct negotiation or mediation. Others require consent orders or a decision from the court. Obtaining legal advice early can help parents understand their options, avoid preventable mistakes and work towards arrangements suited to their children’s individual needs.
This article provides general information only and is not a substitute for legal advice about your circumstances.
FAQ: Parental Agreement
Does a mother automatically receive custody after separation?
No. Australian family law does not automatically favour either parent. Parenting arrangements are determined according to the child’s best interests.
Must children spend equal time with both parents?
No. There is no automatic right to equal parenting time. The appropriate arrangement depends on the child’s circumstances, needs and safety.
Is a parenting plan legally enforceable?
A parenting plan records an agreement but is not enforceable in the same way as a court order. Consent orders are legally enforceable once approved by the court.
Do I have to attend mediation before going to court?
Usually, a person must attempt Family Dispute Resolution before applying for parenting orders. Exceptions may apply in urgent cases or where family violence, child abuse or other recognised circumstances are involved.
Can I take my child overseas after separation?
International travel may require the other parent’s written consent or a court order, particularly where parenting orders or proceedings exist. Obtain legal advice before booking travel.
If you need guidance on parenting arrangements after separation, contact us to discuss your circumstances and take the next step with confidence.















